Personal Addition; Newtown Shooting.

 I'd just like to post something about this recent shooting. I feel that it is important.


This is absolutely disgusting. There was an elementary school shooting today in Connecticut. 28 people died, 18 being little innocent children. How can one do this? Walk into a school and just shoot so many to death? They had bright futures ahead of them, one could’ve been the next president if they had gotten the chance to merely live out their dream. They were innocent, practically babies if you think about it, They never got to experience the harsh world, they were sheltered and kept under care. Now they’ll never get to experience what this will be like.

Imagine how the deceased parents must feel.
“Hello there, Miss/Mrs./Mr____ I’m sorry, but your child will not be coming home today”
Imagine how their world turned dark. How their blood ran cold as these words start to sink in. Imagine the tears. The pain and suffering and the regret that ran through their heads. Imagine the “What ifs” Imagine how they must feel. Words start to turn to lead as they lose power and cry. Their beautiful child, now dead. Parents should never have to bury their children.

 Imagine how those with children must feel. Imagine how they have to answer the question “What happened to____ (deceased)” as their little child looks up at them with big eyes as you have to explain that a bad man walked into a building that they deemed safe and shot their friends to death. Imagine the tears and having to hold them as they cried, their little bodies pressed against you, beating strong as some parents will never be able to feel that happen again.

Please. Keep this in remembrance.
Rest In Peace, everyone affected by this tragedy.
Dear Lord, 28 angels are coming home today. 

Bucketlist :)

1.       Compose a song

2.       Get a tattoo

3.       Play hide and seek in Ikea

4.       See the Lion King on Broadway

5.       Marry Alex Gaskarth. Meet All Time Low

6.       Learn Japanese and teach English overseas

7.       Go to an airport, bags packed and just buy a random ticket and go

8.       Sing and play ukulele with Jack Johnson

9.       Meet the cast of Harry Potter

10.   Go to New Zealand and pet a sheep

11.   Sing in front of a huge crowd

12.   Meet the Hemsworths

13.   Swim with Manatees

14.   Get the leading role in a play

15.   Meet Ed Sheeran

16.   Skydive

17.   Have my dad walk me down the aisle

18.   Get to know a killer

19.   Learn to speak Latin

20.   Write a book with Nicholas Sparks

21.   Swim in the dead sea

22.   Have a family

23.   Go to Paris and speak French for an entire day

24.   Be kissed on the top of a Ferris Wheel

25.   Go to every Disney park

26.   Lie under a the stars on the Beach

27.   Spend New Year’s in Hawaii

28.   Learn to love myself

29.   Make a pillow fort

30.   Write a book with John Green

31.   Tell someone how I really feel

32.   Go to the Thames river

33.   Get kissed under a mistletoe

34.   Walk in Memphis

35.   Sing with Michael Buble

36.   Give minor surgery

37.   Visit a haunted house

38.   Get a Harvard sweater

39.   Spend a year in the Philippines

40.   Prove Richard wrong

41.   Let a lantern fly

42.   Attend the Lantern festival in Taiwan

43.   Be a busker at the Forks

44.   Go to Warped Tour

45.   Meet a pen pal in real life

46.   Hug a koala

47.   Visit ever Ivy League school and get a sweatshirt from each one

48.   Watch every episode of Law and Order SVU

49.   See Japan during their Sakura festival

50.   Go to Japan during their Tanabata festival

51.   Work at Disneyland/World as a character

52.   Go to Hawaii and play a ukulele

53.   Audition for a talent show

54.   Walk through a ghost town

55.   Throw a drink at someones face

56.   Receive a promise ring

57.   Be in two places at once

58.   Cover my room in song lyrics, lights and pictures

59.   Slow dance in the pouring rain

60.   Attach a lock to the love bridge

61.   Visit Juliets balcony in Italy

62.   Be about to get onto a plane, leaving somewhere but be chased through the airport by the guy I love

63.   See Acropolis

64.   Go through the Melissani cave on a boat

65.    Attend a masquerade in a ball gown and mask

66.   Send a message in a bottle

67.   Drive an old vintage car

68.   Stay in the Tree House hotel in Costa Rica

69.   Attend an authentic Polynesian Luau

70.   Bury this list in a time capsule and dig it back up in 60 years to cross out what I’ve done.
71. Become more than just a name and a face. 

Reading & Writing reflection #10

Writing Perspective; writing my twitter fiction was honestly a bit hard. I didn’t like that I couldn’t be as a descriptive as I usually am with stories. Some successes of mine were when I was writing it and found out that everything I wanted to say could fit into the 140 character limit, or when I had a VSS and learnt I could fit it all into one tweet. Some frustrations I had were when I had a really good creative idea for a tweet and realised I couldn’t fit it all into the 140 character limit. I like being really descriptive with my writing but with the limit I had to subtract a lot from what I wanted to say. I learnt a lot about myself as an author like I don’t really like having a limit when writing a short story or that I had to separate what I wanted to say into different tweets because I couldn’t fit it into one. In my opinion, long stories separated into tweets takes away from everything else you usually find in a long story. I didn’t really feel much different about publishing myself on twitter than publishing my work on my blog.

Reading Perspective; I read a bunch of different twitter fictions because I couldn’t find one I could simply get really really into. It just didn’t appeal to me at all, so I went and explored my classmates twitter. From our class, I read the twitter fiction of Jacqueline, Taylor and Christie because I usually enjoy the things that they publish onto their blogs. They’re really amazing writers. One thing that really surprised me was when I went to go read Christies tweets. She wrote a long extended story that was nothing like her at all. It was a nice surprise.

About Twitter; This assignment didn’t really change my perspective of twitter because I use twitter every day and it didn’t feel that much different, other than the frustration with the 140 characters. I don’t really have another idea for how we could use twitter.

Book quotes.

I have been a fan of John Green for a while now, and whenever I read one of his books I always find myself highlighting a quote that I like (Oh! The horror. scribbling in a book!). There are just some that I really really enjoyed and I hope you enjoy them too. I got these quotes off of Goodreads.com which is an excellent site! I feel that you guys should go and check it out. :) 

“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.” 

― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.” 
― John Green, Looking for Alaska
Okay, This one is a little... Vulgar. But I enjoyed it and it made me laugh. 

“What is an "instant" death anyway? How long is an instant? Is it one second? Ten? The pain of those seconds must have been awful as her heart burst and her lungs collapsed and there was no air and no blood to her brain and only raw panic. What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding an hour. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain feels particularly instantaneous.” 
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“It's not life or death, the labyrinth. Suffering. Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you. That's the problem. Bolivar was talking about the pain, not about the living or dying. How do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?” ― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back.” 

― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

“That's who you really like. The people you can think out loud in front of.” ― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

“Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes.”
"J'aime les baguettes" Colin said
"Well, you aime a lot of stupid crap" ― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

So these were my quotes for the week! If you liked any, Please tell me which ones and why, I'd love to hear your opinions! 

Twitter Fiction

For my twitter fiction, I decided to do a handful of little stories rather than one huge one. I believe I chose this option because I’m never very good at finishing long term things. I have never finished at least one chapter stories I’ve written due to the fact that I could easily change one thing and have it finish completely different than I originally wanted it to end. With twitter fiction, that was the case. I’d have a plot line and then complete change it but then I’d have to make the next few tweets fit the new plot. I’m not enjoying twitter fiction to be completely honest. I’m a writer who likes adding details to whatever she’s writing and with twitter fiction and the 140 character limit really limited my space to write what I wanted to.  

I had the biggest problem with the 140 character limit because I’d think of something really really good to write only to be discouraged that it could not work because it was too long and exceeded the 140 character limit. It was really hard to have all my stories fit inside 140 characters, spaces included. I would've much rather written a short story because they’re something I really enjoy doing. But, I guess it’s always good to try something new.

So far, I have at least 30 tweets for my story. However, I have one long story which is about 10-15 tweets long and I have little plot bunnies for the other ones. I feel like this was an okay negotiation because I never like finishing something long term nor do I enjoy leaving these little plot bunnies with nothing to add to them.

This is a definition of a plot bunny that I borrowed off the internet; an idea for a story, usually referring to an author having more ideas than he or she can use.

Personal Addition; Different. Ideas of love.

I really have no idea what inspired me to write this. I suppose it is more of another "rambling autobiography" although I wouldn't describe it as that. 

Is different too much to handle?

Unlike many of my friends, I don’t drink. I never party, and to be honest, I’d rather stay in and read rather than go out and socialise. That being said, I’d like to say I’m an introvert. I won’t reach out for help if I need it in fear that I will bother the person I’m reaching out to. If I do reach out to you, consider yourself a lucky person. I only have 2 safe people in my life that I will reach out to. I hate having many people around me and I suffer anxiety attacks when faced with crowds of people. I enjoy thinking and just simply listening to music. I've been told that I cannot take a joke for I am “far too serious” and that I don’t have many friends. I believe in the simpler things in life. I am a hopeless romantic and a hopeful dreamer. 

What happened to the soft spoken words and sweet nothings being whispered into a lover’s ear? What happened to just cuddling, enjoying the others embrace as you watch each other’s chest rise and fall in rhythm with a heart? What happened to simple little letters being left, with the signature and promise of a secret admirer? I despise how today’s society defines love as sex and just looks. I would not consider myself as a shallow person but I do know that looks do draw me in, but it’s personality I hold higher up than anything else. It makes me stay. What happened to the sweet names “Darling, sweetheart, honey”? Why did that turn into “babe, baby, cutie”? What happened to old school romances? Where the boy asks the girl’s father for permission to date her and where holding hands with endearing smiles was just as sweet as the first kiss? I wish our society hadn’t brought the sex factor into the idea of Love. I do know it’s a part of it, but it should not be everything. 

Personal Addition; You Be The Anchor.

As hours move to minutes

And minutes take longer to break

I will be desperately awaiting

But my tongue won't fall apart

And we've been sitting here for hours

All alone and in the dark

So let me think of how to word it

Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?

If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere

I'm sure everything would find me

All that's left is just to sing

And I'll be here by the ocean

Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams

All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes

And every wave drags me to sea

I could stand here for hours

Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"

With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question.

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"

This is an excerpt from a song I really love. It’s called “You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I’ll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds” by Mayday Parade. Long enough Title, I know.

I honestly just love the chorus so much. Although I can’t fully describe what I want to say about this song, It’s very powerful to me. The line “Is everything here make-believe?” made me think for a long time. What if everything here is make believe and we’re just merely living our lives as if we hold a significance to something that doesn’t exist? 

Newspaper blackout

I really enjoyed writing Blackout Poetry but I found it very difficult at some times because it was like, I knew what I wanted to write and I knew what I wanted to say but I could not find a word that could not link the two words I wanted. Some successes I had were when I actually found a word that could link my two ideas together.

This type of writing was super unique, compared to the reading reflections and such because you have to subtract what you want to say what you need to say.

Something I learnt about myself as a writer was that I find it extremely hard to be able to do this. I’m much better off writing than subtracting to find what I want to say. I’m very descriptive to what I want to say and with the subtracting process, I found it hard.

Reading Reflection #8; Salem's Lot

Book: Salems Lot
Author: Stephen King
Pages read: 1-229

This week, I read Salem’s Lot by Stephen King. I had this recommended to me by a friend because I’ve been trying to get into Stephen King books.  

The way the book is written was a bit confusing to me, it changes from different point of views and whatever happens in their point of view does not seem to pertain to what we had just read with the last point of view. I really like the main character, Ben Mears. He’s an author and he seems to be very mysterious because he always seems to have something to hide, whether it’d be from Susan or any other character.

I’m enjoying the plot line so far, a part that really hit me was when Danny Glick dies and his dad tells him to stop joking around and to get up. It really made me think. How bad is it to have to bury your own child? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I mean, how does it feel to watch your own son or daughter being lowered into the ground? Devastating is what I believe it should feel. But I wouldn’t know the feeling, nor do I ever want to. It’s terrible to have to have that happen to you. I had a text to world connection with this and Lord of the Rings. It’s a scene where there was a battle and someone’s son perishes in the bloody battle and he sits on the hill, weeping and crying about how terrible it is have to bury his own son.

I have a prediction in this book, in the prologue it’s told that someone buys the Marsten house and is driving a peculiar car. It then opens up to Ben Mears driving around in his fancy car. I believe that in the prologue that it's Ben and Danny Glick who purchased the Marsten house for whatever reason it stands to be. I have no idea what will come next but I am for sure enjoying this book so far. 

Reading Reflection #7

Date; October 29 2012
Book: Cell by Stephen King
- read all-

These past 4 days I’ve been reading Cell by Stephen King. It was the first Stephen King book I have ever read and needless to say, I now see why everyone reads his books. The detail he puts into every sentence is truly amazing. Although I enjoyed the book, I had many questions. I think it may be because I read entirely too fast.

One question I had was “What happened to Alice?” In the book, it says that Alice arrives all bloody and teary. I understood the tearing up part but I did not get why she was bloody. While wondering that, I had made the prediction that Alice was not who she really was and that she would turn against Tom and Clay near the end. It’s revealed later in the book that Alice had to fight against the phoners who were trying to attack her thus making her bloody. She was scared and she had to fight against her own mother. The prediction I had made about her before had not come true. Alice stays true to everyone to her last breath.

While reading, I had made the prediction that Clay’s son and wife had died and attacked by a phoner. Surprisingly, this prediction did come true. Just… not in the way you’d expect it to. It caught me off guard that Sharon had become a phoner and almost attacked Johnny. So I suppose, in a way she is dead but a different kind of death. This was very different to me. A lot of books I have read would’ve killed her off but I suppose Stephen King is a different kind of author. He puts a lot of thought into his book and I was surprised by how good I could picture the scene in my head.

My last question about this book was How does it all end?! The ending really left me wanting more. I know he probably won’t create a follow up book but if there’s anything I hate more than a badly written book, it’s a cliff hanger. The ending really left me wondering what happened to Johnny. The way it worked was the virus had everyone turning into zombies but like the way computers work, there was a worm in it. Johnny got a less insane version of the worm and is basically broken. Clay tries to reverse the process by putting the cell phone to his ear and then we do not know what happens afterwards. I really enjoyed this book. The detail is really well thought out and it’s the perfect mix of gore and suspense/mystery. I’d love to read a follow up novel but I suppose the purpose of a cliff hanger is to leave you in thought for a bit.

Thank you for reading!

Personal Addition; Somewhere In Neverland

Recently, I've been listening to A LOT of All Time low. This song is by far my favourite. It's all about how Alex Gaskarth feels that he grew up too fast and he'd give anything just to be a kid again and just relive everything he had to miss. In reality, I feel a lot of people feel that way. We all grew up too fast and now we're just clawing back to get our childhood back and experience things we missed. 

Blackout Poetry.

Personal Addition; Time.

I have been told way too many times that I act older than I should. That I should learn to grow down a little because I'm concerned about my future. That I should stop and let the future happen and stop trying to control it.

Why is wanting to look forward such a bad thing? I've always been a bit ... mature for my age, If that's the word. I mean, It's always good to plan forward... Right? Right? Some people think otherwise. I'm scared for my future and I'm not even a senior yet. I don't know where I want to go or what I want to do and It's stressing me out to no end.

But I do understand why others would like me to appreciate my youth. I know there are things that I could do now that I'd just look ridiculous doing while older. It’s like… I don’t want to grow up. But I don’t want to stay young too, you know? I don’t know the balance of the two. I wish I did. I think I think too much of the future and not enough of what I could be doing now. I graduate next year, and I still don’t know what to do. I have no idea what I want to do. The idea of University scares me. I don’t want to have to worry about it, But 10-15 years from now I won’t be living here. I won’t be on my way to school every morning, bleary eyed and tired. I may be married, Hell, I may even have a few kids of my own. I’m going to be called “mom” or Mrs.(insert last name here). I won’t ever be addressed to again as “Ms. Jasmine Villanueva”. It scares me so much. I could be working in an office or as a teacher. I have no control over my future and whats in it. All the decisions I make at this time could affect and change my lifestyle in the future forever. I get scared because what if I make the wrong choice? What if I end up lonely and sad? What if I’m all alone in the world because of a single decision I make now?

I just … wish I could stop the world for a bit. Just … simply sit alone for a while and just think. 

But the clock doesn’t stop ticking. Every second goes by like a grain of sand and the only thing we can do now is move forward. ... And that's what scares me most.

Personal Addition; If These Sheets Were The States

I'm lost in empty pillow talk again

This bed's an island made of feather down, and I'm stuck here alone
With little else but memories of you, on memory foam

Visions of a brighter love, I'd kill for one more day
To pool my thoughts, and find the words to say

If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,
I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me.
Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again.

I'm lost in empty pillow talk again

This room's become a mausoleum, filled with relics of regret
Paying dues to every moment wasted, on words left unsaid
Collisions of a finer love, I'd kill for one more way
To tell you how you make me better every day

If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,
I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me.
Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again.

(Lost in empty pillow talk again)
(Lost in empty pillow talk again)

If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,
I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me.
Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk

I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again.
I'm lost in empty pillow talk again.

This is a song written and performed by Alex Gaskarth, Leader of All Time Low. 

I really like the way this song was written. I mean, Wow! Who knew you could compare bedsheets to a long distance relationship? That's what really got me. I don't think I know anyone who could do that. My favourite line in this song is ; "If these sheets were the states and you were miles away, I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me". It shows that although your significant other is far, they're never too far in your heart. 

Random thought; Why can't this be a thing? Like, bed sheets that actually have the lyrics printed out on them? I'd be first in line to buy them.